Mr. C turns three

I can't believe that Curtis is three today. I'm still amazed at how quickly time flies. I've been thinking about the day he was born and it's still so fresh and vivid in my mind. I remember how uncomfortable I felt and how anxious I was to go through the birthing process. I was dilated at 3 cm for three weeks before my water broke and I thought that he was never going to come out! My pregnancy wasn't fun. I was sick for the first six months with bleeding for the whole pregnancy that left me on bed rest a lot of the time. At 29 weeks, I went into the hospital to have an ultrasound because the doctor thought I might have placenta previa and found out I was having contractions that were 2-3 minutes apart and was given a shot of some kind of medicine to stop the contractions. That's also when we found out we were having a boy and I'm so thankful that the nurses were able to stop the contractions, but I was put on bed rest again. I went into false labor again at 35 weeks, but asked to be sent home because nothing was happening. I remember the panic and determination to push him out when he became stuck and started to get distressed. The look on the doctor's face said it all and I didn't want to have a c-section. Thankfully the Lord allowed to doctor to get Curtis out using vacuum extraction, but boy was Curtis mad!! He came out screaming with his arms in the air like he wanted to rip someone's face off!! I will never forget that moment as long as I live. The love that I felt for him was so strong and when they placed him in my arms I just melted. Watching him roll over at two weeks old and thinking that we had superbaby on our hands. Having to take him to have his foot pricked every week for two months to check his bilirubin count for his jaundice just broke my heart. I cried every time he screamed. Praying that he wasn't going to die when he came down with bronchialitis at two months. Realizing how tiny he was as he was lying there getting his chest x-ray. Having to use a nebulizer on him to get rid of the bronchialitis was tough, but seeing his sweet smile and hearing his laugh has been so awesome to witness. Watching him take his first steps, listening to his first words, and now having conversations with him is such a blessing. "Children are a heritage from the Lord, they are a reward from him." Psalm 127:3

It's not fair

These are the words that Curtis likes to say to me when I scold him or take something away from him. These are his favorite words at the moment and in some ways mine as well. For the last four months I have been saying those very words to God as I try to deal with the loss of a precious baby girl named Emmalee. I'm not exactly sure why it has effected me so much, but I cry almost every day for her and for her parents Jon and Ali, who now have to deal with an empty crib and an emptyness in their hearts. Every night when I look in on the kids before Kevin and I go to bed, I will just stare at them with the tears welling up in my eyes and tell God that it's not fair. It's not fair that Jon and Ali don't get to enjoy their sweet baby girl. They don't get to see her smile, hear her laugh or hold her. In fact, they only got to hold Emma twice, how fair is that!?! I know that this isn't the way that God intended things to be, that death wasn't the original plan and it's not fair that it now is. I'm so thankful that I serve a powerful and merciful God who sent His Son to conquer the grave for us, so that death isn't the final chapter, but the waiting and the hurting are hard to deal with sometimes.

Birthday Girl

Lauren is now officially one year old!! We had her party on Saturday and it was a blast. Of course she had no idea what was going on, but she had fun playing with her cousins. She has taken a couple steps by herself and she can stand by herself for about five seconds. She also started saying words on Friday. She says three words: nana (for banana), papa (for my grandfather), and baby. Kevin's parents bought her a baby doll and she takes her everywhere. She now won't go to sleep without it! It's amazing how God programs boys and girls to be different. Curtis could care less about dollies, but Lauren lights up whenever she sees hers. Here are some pictures from Lauren's party. Now we count down to Curtis's Buzz Lightyear party.

This is after Lauren got her hands on the cake

Lauren with her princess hat

Miss Scrunchy Face!!

The cake that I made. It was french vanilla with royal icing.

Kids

Well, there they are, the beautiful teeth that have been bringing on the misery. I must say though, Lauren looks so cute with the new teeth. It gives her more of a personality, don't you think? We are still waiting for her first word. She loves to babble and the expressions on her face when she talks is priceless. I must write what Curtis said the other day. On Monday night, Curtis wasn't feeling very well and when I put him to bed, he was telling me that his tummy hurt because there was a frog in there. I'm not sure where he came up with a frog, but maybe that's what it felt like. Well, the next morning when I was getting him out of bed, I asked him how his tummy was feeling. He said,"My tummy's feeling better. The frog went to live somewhere else. He went back to the water." I couldn't help but laugh, he comes up with the weirdest things sometimes. Our children have the weirdest quirks. Curtis has a vivid imagination and a fetish for vaccuum cleaners. Lauren is our wild woman. She loves to stand up in the pack-n-play and shake it so it makes noise against the wall(while sticking her tongue out). The Lord definitely has a sense of humor, which makes my days very interesting.