Blessed

The kids have been sick this past week, which means that I haven't been getting much sleep. They are breathing much better now and not so cranky! Lauren is also teething really badly, which means she chews on everything. It's like having a puppy sometimes. I feel bad for her though, because there isn't much that I can do to help with the pain. She is also walking all over the place! I love this toddler stage because they can explore their world much better. She is so excited to be walking and Curtis loves to walk around with her. Oh, we bought Lauren a baby stroller for her dollies and Lauren is small enough to fit into it, so Curtis will push Lauren around in it and she just cracks up. It is hilarious! I love watching my children play together. I am so blessed.

Growing Up

I still can't believe that my children are 3 and 13 months. Boy, time sure does goes by very quickly and it seems like the years go by faster and faster with each new year. I remember when Curtis was 13 months and I was having a hard time because I wanted him to stay a baby forever, but I really enjoy the age he is at now. We can have conversations with eachother and he is always asking tons of questions. He wants to know how everything works and why things are the way they are. He even asks about the worship songs. Everytime a song comes on the Christian radio station that we listen to, he wants to know what the song is about. It really makes me think, and if I don't have an answer, Curtis gets upset. Curtis' sweet personality is now starting to make an appearance. On Sunday, when I was getting the kids ready for church, I was tying the ribbon on Lauren's dress and Curtis said to me, "Mommy, she looks like a princess." It was so sweet and our pastors wife told me that Curtis is the hugger in his class. What a nice little guy! Lauren is now entering the toddler age and no longer a baby. She is walking all over the place now and she has two more teeth coming in. She loves to sing, play with her dollies, and snuggle. The snuggle part is what Kevin and I really enjoy because Curtis wasn't a snuggler. She has more of a sillier personality than Curtis. She loves to make faces and she will even shake her head yes or no if we ask her a question. It's so cool!! I cherish every moment I have with my kids because they won't be mine forever.

Thoughts and Whatnots

Boy, what a busy time it's been these last couple of weeks. My house is finally getting back to normal after all the party's and trying to find places to put the new toys. I'm now working on getting thank you's and birthday pictures sent out. I'm also making some pj's for my nephew for his birthday and a Christmas stocking for Lauren. Once I'm done with those, then I will start sewing a quilt for Curtis and pj's for both of the kids for the winter. In between that, I will be making cards for birthday's, anniversary's, and other special occasions. I'm still trying to work on scrapbooks for the kids. Poor Lauren, I only have three pages done in hers, but I've just had so much other stuff to do, I haven't had the time. On a more serious note, Curtis has been getting attacked by Satan recently. On Saturday, while Curtis was napping, he just woke up screaming. I ran into their room to calm him down and nothing worked. I picked him up to rock him and pray over him and he started to fight me and scream louder. He looked like he was possessed the way he was carrying on. I tried singing "Jesus Loves Me" since he's really into that song right now, but that made it worse. Kevin came upstairs and took him downstairs to try to calm him down, which finally worked, but Curtis was acting very mean. It makes me cry now just thinking of it and mad as well. I'm mad at Satan for tormenting my little boy who has done nothing wrong! This has been going on since Curtis was three months old and I'm tired of it! Anyway, I will get off that subject before I get myself really worked up. I would really appreciate it if those of you who read this would just pray for a peaceful spirit for Curtis. On Sunday we went to the L.A. county fair with Kevin's parents who are visiting from out of state. The kids had a blast! Curtis got to ride a pony, which he absolutely loved, he got to see lots of animals and trains. I will post pictures from the fair when I get them downloaded. I hope everyone enjoys their week. God bless.

Buzz Lightyear

Well, Curtis' birthday came and went and I'm kinda glad it's over. I'm pooped. The party was a success and Curtis enjoyed every minute of it. The look on his face when he saw his cake and all of the decorations was priceless. I almost had a heartattack because my mom dropped the cake taking it out of the fridge. Thankfully the smushed part was in the back, so you couldn't really see it, but man I wanted to cry after putting all that work into it and she drops it. Oh well, it happens sometimes. For the most part, Curtis was on his best behavior considering he missed his nap for the party. He even let one of his friends help him open his presents. He makes me so proud sometimes. Well here are some pictures from his party:

The cake table

The menu

Blowing out the candles The beautiful carrot cake

Mr. C turns three

I can't believe that Curtis is three today. I'm still amazed at how quickly time flies. I've been thinking about the day he was born and it's still so fresh and vivid in my mind. I remember how uncomfortable I felt and how anxious I was to go through the birthing process. I was dilated at 3 cm for three weeks before my water broke and I thought that he was never going to come out! My pregnancy wasn't fun. I was sick for the first six months with bleeding for the whole pregnancy that left me on bed rest a lot of the time. At 29 weeks, I went into the hospital to have an ultrasound because the doctor thought I might have placenta previa and found out I was having contractions that were 2-3 minutes apart and was given a shot of some kind of medicine to stop the contractions. That's also when we found out we were having a boy and I'm so thankful that the nurses were able to stop the contractions, but I was put on bed rest again. I went into false labor again at 35 weeks, but asked to be sent home because nothing was happening. I remember the panic and determination to push him out when he became stuck and started to get distressed. The look on the doctor's face said it all and I didn't want to have a c-section. Thankfully the Lord allowed to doctor to get Curtis out using vacuum extraction, but boy was Curtis mad!! He came out screaming with his arms in the air like he wanted to rip someone's face off!! I will never forget that moment as long as I live. The love that I felt for him was so strong and when they placed him in my arms I just melted. Watching him roll over at two weeks old and thinking that we had superbaby on our hands. Having to take him to have his foot pricked every week for two months to check his bilirubin count for his jaundice just broke my heart. I cried every time he screamed. Praying that he wasn't going to die when he came down with bronchialitis at two months. Realizing how tiny he was as he was lying there getting his chest x-ray. Having to use a nebulizer on him to get rid of the bronchialitis was tough, but seeing his sweet smile and hearing his laugh has been so awesome to witness. Watching him take his first steps, listening to his first words, and now having conversations with him is such a blessing. "Children are a heritage from the Lord, they are a reward from him." Psalm 127:3

It's not fair

These are the words that Curtis likes to say to me when I scold him or take something away from him. These are his favorite words at the moment and in some ways mine as well. For the last four months I have been saying those very words to God as I try to deal with the loss of a precious baby girl named Emmalee. I'm not exactly sure why it has effected me so much, but I cry almost every day for her and for her parents Jon and Ali, who now have to deal with an empty crib and an emptyness in their hearts. Every night when I look in on the kids before Kevin and I go to bed, I will just stare at them with the tears welling up in my eyes and tell God that it's not fair. It's not fair that Jon and Ali don't get to enjoy their sweet baby girl. They don't get to see her smile, hear her laugh or hold her. In fact, they only got to hold Emma twice, how fair is that!?! I know that this isn't the way that God intended things to be, that death wasn't the original plan and it's not fair that it now is. I'm so thankful that I serve a powerful and merciful God who sent His Son to conquer the grave for us, so that death isn't the final chapter, but the waiting and the hurting are hard to deal with sometimes.

Birthday Girl

Lauren is now officially one year old!! We had her party on Saturday and it was a blast. Of course she had no idea what was going on, but she had fun playing with her cousins. She has taken a couple steps by herself and she can stand by herself for about five seconds. She also started saying words on Friday. She says three words: nana (for banana), papa (for my grandfather), and baby. Kevin's parents bought her a baby doll and she takes her everywhere. She now won't go to sleep without it! It's amazing how God programs boys and girls to be different. Curtis could care less about dollies, but Lauren lights up whenever she sees hers. Here are some pictures from Lauren's party. Now we count down to Curtis's Buzz Lightyear party.

This is after Lauren got her hands on the cake

Lauren with her princess hat

Miss Scrunchy Face!!

The cake that I made. It was french vanilla with royal icing.